OK, so this is a topic I have not really dealt with yet in many years of blogging. However, today during my devotion, I am led to speak on it. Some would say “tread lightly,” but that wouldn’t be very Biblical would it? Some Pastor’s stray from certain topics because they may OFFEND someone. Well, I don’t remember Jesus worrying about offending anyone. In fact, He is probably more well known FOR offending people. However, it was always based on God’s Word, not the world’s view. Therefore, I think I am safe if I stick to the Bible.
So, let’s first point out that I am not targeting anyone or any event in real life. What’s that legal jargon? Oh yes….
- Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
- And now MY disclaimer: this blog is intended for married people, if you’re single, you can stop reading now.
Ok, now that we have that taken care of, let’s get to Scripture.
“It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman” – 1 Corinthians 7:1
That’s right, right there in the Bible! Along with it, we can find in the Bible “There is no God” (Psalm 14:1). Now, let’s quickly understand that BOTH of these verses are taken out of context!
Psalm 14:1 completely says “The fool says in his heart, ‘There is no God.’”
And in 1 Corinthians 7, we find that Paul is addressing the church in Corinth “Now concerning the matters about which you wrote ‘it is good for a man not to have ….’” Notice, this was not a command from God, or anything Jesus said. Paul is addressing an issue the church asked about.
Paul continues to speak about sexual temptation and the best way to avoid sexual immorality:
“Each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.” – 1 Cor 7:2
He continues to speak concerning sexual relations:
“The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.” – 1 Cor 7:3-4
He furthermore goes on to explain that “depriving one another” is not good, EXCEPT for “perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer.” – 1 Cor 7:5
Paul points out that sexual self-control is a difficult sin to manage. In fact, throughout the 7th chapter he addresses marriage and sexual discipline several times, due to its prominence, even years ago!
There is no doubt that sexual immorality and adultery is a very high cause of divorce in the United States. In one survey, infidelity is reported as the 3rd top reason for divorce. So how do we prevent this? Paul spoke very clearly on the subject as previously mentioned: we must understand and accept our partner’s needs.
For years, psychologists have noted the differences between men and women. Who hasn’t heard that “men think about sex every 6 seconds”? I can’t say that I know where the stat comes from, or even if it’s true for the average man. However, there is significant evidence to prove that male and female sex drives differ in terms of frequency and circumstances. So why did God program us so differently?
Well, that’s a topic for another day (maybe). In the meantime, let’s stick to the topic at hand, and remember that men and women are different.
The best way to deal with that is to be open with one another and respect one another’s needs and not focus on just your own desires. Lack of communication has also been found to be a high cause of divorce in the US. Therefore, maybe it’s time to talk to each other about sex, after all, you are married!