Trivia Questions 9-12 (Ark focused)

It’s all about the Ark today:

9. What mountain did Noah’s Ark come to rest upon?
a) Carmel
b) Sinai
c) Moriah
d) Ararat

10. How many people were on Noah’s Ark?
a) 2
b) 4
c) 6
d) 8

11. How many pair(s) of each animal were taken on Noah’s Ark?
a) 1
b) 2
c) 5
d) 7

12. How many months (approximately) passed with Noah and the animals on the Ark?
a) 8
b) 12
c) 17
d) 24

 

Want answers to yesterday’s trivia?  Click HERE!

Trivia Questions 5-8

Hopefully you got at least one right yesterday (check your answers HERE)….

5. Who was the 12th apostle, replacing Judas?
a) Bartholomew
b) Barnabas / Barsabas
c) Matthias
d) Justus

6. How much was Judas paid for betraying Christ?
a) 30 silver coins
b) 30 gold coins
c) 30 denarii
d) 50 denarii

7. After His resurrection, near what body of water did Jesus appear to His disciples?
a) Sea of Galilee
b) The Dead Sea
c) Sea of Tiberias
d) Jordan River

8. Which of the following plagues was not sent upon Egypt due to Pharoah’s hardened heart?
a) Frogs
b) Lice
c) Flies
d) Snakes

For those of you who made it this far, did you find the spelling mistake in the last blog? Actually, there were 2 mistakes, not just one. The first one “not that it’s correct spelling or grammer” – the second? “Oh, and if you don’t send this t0”

Check answers to yesterday’s trivia HERE

ok, this is for you single people out there….

keeping on my kick of humor this week, I thought it would be appropriate to list some of the famous Christian pick up lines that are internet worthy:

Now I know why Solomon had 700 wives… Because he never met you.

Here’s my number… Call me if you need prayer.

How many times do I have to walk around you to make you fall for me?

I didn’t believe in predestination until tonight.

I’m no Joseph… perhaps you can help me interpreting the dreams I’ve been having about you?

So last night I was reading in the book of Numbers, and I realized… I don’t have yours!

You put the “stud” in bible study.

Is your name Faith? ‘Cause you’re the substance of things I’ve hoped for.

Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?

Do you want to be “accountability” partners?

The word says to ‘Give drink to those who are thirsty, and feed the hungry’; So how about dinner tonight?

Disclaimer: these are not my own, and more than likely will get you no where. Be forewarned!  🙂

life is tough… LAUGH!

I am having a very “academic” week, and I need a break.  I thought we could all use a laugh, even though some of these are really lame….

 

Who was the fastest runner in the Bible?

Adam – he was first in the human race

Why did Adam and Eve move out of the Garden of Eden?

They ate themselves out of house and home

Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?

Samson – he brought the house down

Why should you be quiet in church?

Because people are sleeping

And last but not least – (no offense to any particular profession – really!)

An engineer dies and reports to the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter checks his dossier and not seeing his name there, accidentally sends him to Hell. It doesn’t take long before the engineer becomes rather dissatisfied with the level of comfort in Hell.
He soon begins to design and build improvements. Shortly thereafter, Hell has air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators. Needless to say, the engineer is a pretty popular guy.
One day, God calls Satan and says: “So, how are things in Hell?”
Satan replies: “Hey, things are going great. We’ve got air conditioning, flushing toilets, and escalators. And there’s no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next.”
“What!” God exclaims: “You’ve got an engineer? That’s a mistake – he should never have been sent to Hell. Send him to me.”
“Not a chance,” Satan replies: “I like having an engineer on the staff, and I’m keeping him!”
God insists: “Send him back or I’ll sue.”
Satan laughs uproariously and answers: “Yeah, right. And where are you going to get a lawyer?

The Internet

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com. And she said unto Abraham, her husband, “Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?” And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, “How, dear?” And Dot replied, “I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah’s Pony Stable (UPS).”

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent.

To prevent neighboring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures – Hebrew To The People (HTTP). And the young men did take to Dot Com’s trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land. And indeed did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates’ drumheads and drumsticks. And Dot did say, “Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others” And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or eBay as it came to be known. He said, “We need a name that reflects what we are.” And Dot replied, “Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators.” “YAHOO,” said Abraham. And because it was Dot’s idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.

Abraham’s cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot’s drums to locate things around the countryside. It soon became known as God’s Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).

That is how it all began. And that’s the truth. (Ha, Ha…!)

 – author unknown

The Southern 10

Here it is for y’all:

The official SOUTHERN TEN COMMANDMENTS:

1. Just one God.

2. Put nothin’ before God.

3. Watch yer mouth!

4. Git yourself to Sunday meetin’.

5. Honor yer Ma & Pa.

6. No killin’.

7. No foolin’ around with another feller’s gal (or ‘nother gal’s feller).

8. Don’t take what ain’t yorn.

9. No tellin’ tales or gossipin’.

10. Don’t be hankerin’ for yer buddy’s stuff.

Now that’s plain an’ simple. And bless your little ole cotton pickin heart…

three wise firefighters

In a small Southern town there was a “Nativity Scene” that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen’s helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left.

At a “Quik Stop” on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, “You darn Yankees never do read the Bible!” I assured her that I did, but simply couldn’t recall anything about firemen in the Bible.

She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled thru some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage. Sticking it in my face she said “See, it says right here, ‘The three wise man came from afar.'”

on NOT going to church

A mother went to wake her son for church one Sunday morning. When she knocked on his door, he said, “I’m not going!”

“Why not?” asked his mother.

“I’ll give you two good reasons,” he said. “One, they don’t like me. Two, I don’t like them.”

His mother replied, “I’ll give you two good reasons why YOU WILL go to church. One, you’re 47 years old. Two, you’re the pastor!”

on your way to school…

A mom was concerned about her kindergarten son walking to school. He thought he was a “big boy” and didn’t want her to walk with him. And she wanted to give him  a feeling of independence, but she also wanted to know that he was safe.

When she expressed her concern to her neighbor, Shirley offered to follow him to school every morning for a while, staying at a distance so he wouldnt notice. Shirley said that since she was up early with her toddler anyways, it will be a good way for them to get some exercise. All week long, Shirley and her daughter followed Timmy as he walked to school with another neighborhood girl.

As the two children walked and chatted, kicking stones and twigs, Timmy’s friend said, ‘Have you noticed that lady following us to school all week? Do you know her?’

Timmy replied, ‘Yes, I know who she is. That’s my mom’s friend Shirley Goodnest and her litle girl Marcy’.

‘Shirley Goodnest? Why is she following us?’

Well, Timmy explained, every night my mom makes me say the 23rd Psalm, it says, “Shirley Goodnest and Marcy shall follow me all days of my life.” I guess I’ll just have to get used to it.

Let’s talk Commandments…

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to “honor thy father and thy mother,” she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?”

Without missing a beat one little boy answered, “Thou shall not kill.”